OK. I have a sorta weird question for this diverse audience.--I like a girl, and am trying to get her to know it inderectly. Smiling, saying nice things, etc... She is my first crush (I'm 14) So I don't know exactly what to do }-: A few months ago, she was spending a lot of time with the sporty guy at our school. They werent "together" but it seemed like it whether they admitted it or not. Anyway, last fall he whent to a different school on the area. The past few days, I have been thinking she was starting to like me too, (you can never realy tell )-:) Today, when I whent to band practice, she was out there talking to him!!!!! Durring band she kept glancing over at me, which is not normal, as if to see what I was thinking. She left right after class to a coffee shop down the street with him. What is going on? Was she tryin to make me jealous or what?!?!?! HELP! :(

This was realy hard to ask to people I don't know, so No teasing PLEASE!

Funny thing it is.....sometimes I would whether face Mike Tyson in the ring than to get the balls to ask out some chick...

It takes some balls....u gotta b the man....funny thing....

I gotta b the man tomorrow....if things turn out the way I think they will I will be in a REALLY bad mood for scrum tomorrow night....hehe

B

Who put shoe polish on Slug's head?

Y'all nuts.

At 14, forget love. Go river rafting or something instead.

Last edited: Wednesday, May 19, 2004 at 1:20:43 AM

Oh, if you're a Christian let me give you the "hard core" answer.

Don't worry about dating. You'll be better served to get to know her in a group setting while hanging out with friends. At 14, you don't really need an exclusive girlfriend and all the temptations that sort of relationship can introduce into your life.

I'm not saying you shouldn't do anything with girls, but there's a danger in getting too close too soon. When you're ready to start a serious relationship with someone, with the goal of marriage in mind, that's the time to really start dating in order to meet your life mate.

I was once on a summer mission trip with a group of college students and this is how they handled it. They would get to know someone in a group and after spending lots of time with them in that manner, at some point the guy would ask the girl if she was interested in dating with the final goal being marriage. It wasn't an engagement, but they both understood the goal of taking the relationship to the next level to see if they were compatible for marriage.

I'm sure this won't go over well here, but theres a lot of wisdom in the idea. And since youre probably going to want to marry the woman God has for you, you will be better served by waiting for his time schedule and not getting too involved in this sort of thing just yet while praying for God's guidance.

Some may suggest you need a variety of experiences in order to determine who the right person for you is, but I would think you could determine that without getting heavily involved with someone. A string of breakups doesn't make one a better lover. I'm actually glad I didn't have a host of ex-girlfriends in my past when I got married. My wife appreciated it too.

Rabban, glad to see someone thinks like me. Ideas seem to spread not quite right sometimes on the internet. I am not planning on "dating" her, in the sense of going to dinner, or a late night movie, or anything. I was actually in the mind that ALL dating was bad till I met her. Anyway, even if my own mind ever ceded that point (which it won't), my mom totally agrees with you. I would chiefly do group thingf, or maybe a daytime movie. BTM, what church are you part of?

Hmmm.....well things didnt go so well last night.....got shot down bad.....mb an early birthday present from the divine :)

B

Wow this was your first crush? At 14 ? My first crush was at age 9. Right now im more confused then you. I like way too many girls and can't make up my mind. " I like her. Wait no, I like her. Wait, wait, her. Oh, but what about her?" and then I'm always worried about what I'd do during a relationship. " should I call her now? No, later. Should I ask her out? Where? When? I don't know! I don't know! AAHH!" by this time I'd probably be in a panick and crying in a fetal position.

And its made harder by the fact I dont want kids when im older so wife searching is a wee bit harder.(but that comes later on) so for now I'm gonna wait to go chasing love. Mostly because I'm 14 like you.

Lol backy, I'm just as confused as the average bear. I called her last night, YAY!

Bolo, what happened? How did you get shot down? Give us the details please....

Don't worry, Rabban, I'm sure Filbert has a good head on his shoulder. I dated ladies for almost 5 years before I did anything beyond a hug and kiss.

Rabban actually makes a few good points. I still think you need to date (and experience the break-ups if/when they occur), but right now dates should be considered more of an entertaining day with a special friend. Getting too intimate too soon has a tendency to prolong a mismatched relationship that concludes with an ugly breakup and a feeling like you were wronged by fate. The women I am still friends with are those that I just took to movies, plays, road-trips, etc. When it turned out that we didn't have as much in common as we originally thought, we just dropped the relationship thing without any severe emotional sacrifice from intimacy.

In other words, go and date her! But, keep it casual. That intimacy stuff comes much later when its apparent that things are only getting stronger with no end in sight!

- BombJames Bomb

Exactly, also basically what rabban was saying

TG.....didnt go so well.....shot down in a way other than TT....hehe

B

So Bolo, which one of these clips best shows how it went?

Cut a lock of your hair and past it under your nose like a mustach.

Then go out and get a older chick.

You wasting your time with 14 yr old girlies.

When I was your age I was dating 18yr olds.

Don.t get serious at an early age there is a whole world of women out there explore, explore, explore

Get it all out of your system boy.

You will be glad you did by the time your 25 ;)

Filbert, the answer to your church question is here . Basically the South townname Mission Church, an independent Bible church.

Oh yeah Bolo. Forgot it was your B-Day yesterday. Happy belated! Though it doesn't sound like it was such a happy one. Hmmm.

@ Bolo

Happy Birthday. Tell her Chief said "she just f'd up."

See ya tonight.

Well, Rabban, I can't get the link to do anything, but thanks for posting. I also go to a non-denominational church. More like a calvary Chappel, but not.... Glad to see there is another person sorta like me here, albeit older!

Thanks guys....gotta enjoy my TT time while I still can

B

Okay I agree with alot thats been said but I havent read the whole thread so I hope that im not repeating someone when I offer the following advice...

I suggest you get her freinds to like you. Girls always want what the other one has. If she sees you attracting her freinds her interest will peek up a bit. But play the disinterested freind to her. Tell her "I just wish I had a girl like..." and then insert a quality you know she has. You will know when she's ready for you to take her.

If this just isnt your style...i understand. Not mine either but its another method I know works. Other than that confidence and honesty go a long way. Trouble is girls that age often dont appreciate those qualities enough to give you a chance. They'll appreciate you and then go date the dumb jerk who gets all the girls. Once they reach their mid to late 20's and are tired of getting shit on they turn around and suddenly realize that honesty and confidence is what they really wanted all along.

Welcome to the perpetual frustration my young freind. Good luck.