I'll take this one.
About eight years ago, during high school, I was a proud supporter of the san francisco muni line. This means I too the bus.
One day I find myself waiting for the bus at a gas station/car wash combo joint. Oil and solvents and suds everywhere, slippery as hell. These days when I go to this place to get gas or a wash, I bring a shoe towel. They do swell car washings. I hear. At least when the the scrubber/dryer cats take their rings off.
anyway, tally ho is standing there one day, waiting for the 24, as this fiiiiiine lady strolls by. Tally ho can hardly control himself, so he moves in for a better view.
woops, tally ho doesn't realize he's standing on a friction-free manhole cover.
oooo, down goes tally ho, flat on his arse.
*
in real life, the fiiiiiine lady doesnt' walk over and offer a hand. She doesn't ask tally ho if he's ok, and doesn't bring him home for a gentle, "let's not hurt your back again" shagging.
in real life, tally ho slips again as he is rising to his feet, and the carwash dryer/scrubber cats mock him.

Gee, I deep-sixed every single one of those memories long ago... Fortunately I don't think any of them were quite that bad. My main bad memories are of suffering under a nickname I hated for 5 years as a teen. I had to go to college and change continents to leave it behind.

OMG TG!!

Holy cow! That is an amazing story! I'm glad you can laugh about it now, but that must have been majorly traumatic! Wow thanks for sharing. What was it like re-emerging after that?

We interviewed a really bright job candidate at work a few years ago. He came highly recommended and was flown in all the way from Scotland. His all-day interview included an hour long seminar, for which he got up to speak in front of our team. We were all piqued with curiosity and the room was packed. Well he gets up to speak and we could barely hear him. His voice begins to drift off and we're kind of looking around at each other. Then only about a minute or two into the talk his body begins to rock back and forth likes he's losing his balance. A buddy of mine in the front row bolted out of his chair and catches the guy as he passes out! He was just too nervous - the poor guy! So most filed out of the room while he lay there on the floor. The amazing part is the next day he gave the seminar again - this time sitting down in a chair! Ridiculous! Btw, he didn't get the job. A month or so later I found out that a friend of mine hired him at a nearby company.

Last edited: Tuesday, December 07, 2004 at 10:52:15 AM

How about your mom catches you looking at "stuff" on the internet.....and calls your dad in the room to talk about it...yeah that sucks.

@Mønçk¥•Mªdne§§-

It would be greatly appreciated if you wouldn't spam the boards with one liners everywhere. If you don't like reading what someone wrote, you're not obliged to read it. No-one's forcing you you know.

So where are the admins now?

Anyway, TG, that is a truly, erm, 'messy' story. I almost wouldn't believe it if it weren't coming from you.

I'm digging down in my memory banks, but I can't come up with much at the moment. Maybe like TMO has done, I've locked them all out of my consciousness. I sincerely doubt I have anything that can top that story though.
If anything comes to mind, I'll post it.

Oooohhh, you mean a moment like when...

Never mind, still not over it. Imagine tal's tale but with a much hotter chick and in a much finer setting with much more people.

Ok.
O that story of your was sooooo humiliating.
I almost cryed :'(
That was such a good job
I cant wait till the next one

High five to TG!

@TankGirl
Do you have any reservations of public speaking today? Do mic's immediately remind you of the outward experience?

Here's one I had almost 20 years ago. ^{(bouncing from 1st person to 3rd person)}
So your in your twenty-something’s and routinely head up to a resort area in the next state for some fun and some drinking. The days are filled with water skiing and tubing. Pretty beat up by the time you get showered up and ready to go out for the night looking for lovin'. Having some fun with friends at the bar and getting ready to jump into the mix. Been eyeballing this chick from across the room that has really nice long blonde hair. Pointing out the stunning blonde to the others in my group and discusisng the prospects of introducing myself to her.

BAM, (or BUMP) she turns around and surprise to me, she has a beard. It wasn't a woman at all.

Time out,,,,,, I need time to realign my thoughts and ideas I had up to this point.

The irony;
I should not have based any assumptions on the long blonde hair. I myself had long brown hair to my ass at the time; you think I would have known better. Anyway it’s not something I didn't get over just something I have never forgotten.

Man he had nice hair. (BTW this was during the 80"s when hair was really in)

Napalm

Last edited: Tuesday, December 07, 2004 at 11:42:43 AM

TG, your story actually drug up a memory from my 20's, which is different, yet disturbingly similar.

In my early 20's I was young and stupid, moreso than I am now. %) I used to go drinking with some friends from work on Friday nights. Now, that in itself isn't so stupid, but what was, was the fact that I have never been the type to agree with alcohol. Some people get happy and silly when they get smashed. Some people get more confident, etc. Me, I get sick and drowsy. Not much fun, yet I chose to do it every week. Why? Don't ask, as I said I was (more) youung and stupid then.

Most drinking nights I'd have serious hangovers the next morning. One Friday however, I went a little too far with the brews, and intermixed with Tequila shots all night. A recipe for disaster.
So, I made it out of the bar in one piece. And I proceeded to head home on the subway. Hmmm. I was feeling pretty awful, but I felt sure I could make it home OK. Sitting on the train, I closed my eyes trying to calm my poor upset protesting stomach down, hoping, foolishly, that the gentle sway of the train would soothe me. LOL!

At one point, some teens (about 4-5) got in the subway car I was in. I was sitting there, probably looking pale, clammy and like death warmed over, but again, felt sure I was OK. One of them sat to my right, and a few others were across the car facing me. They were chatting away, as my stomach was broiling away, and suddenly… WHAM! You guessed it. I barfed all over myself and the carry bag I had with me.
Well, I've never seen a group move so quickly. They scattered like roaches when the light comes on. LOL! In every direction, simultaneously going "EWWWW!!" and "OH SHIT MAN!!" and other things.

I don't remember much except sitting there with puke all over me, in disbelief of what just happened. I got off the next stop, and I do distinctly remember one of them yelling at me, "GO TAKE A SHOWER!"

Granted, not nearly as bad as your story, in front of 800 kids, but it was still humiliating nonetheless. I had to go all the way home with vomit on me before I could get cleaned up. Pretty gross.

While out on the town once in college, I had partaken in too many root beer barrels, so I walked home from the pub earlier than my friends and went to bed. Before I got into bed, I remember that it was very hard to get up into the loft, and couldn't figure out how my roommates clothes had gotten into my bunk. A couple of hours later, my roommate and several other of our friends came home from the bar, turned on the lights and were trying to find me. My roommate looked up and said, Oh my god, no freakin way, and everyone started laughing at me, and I couldn't figure out why. Apparently, I had gotten myself onto my roommates closet and taken up roost there. Luckily, I got down before anyone found a camera, I was the talk of the campus for months, and many old friends still feel that it is necessary to remind me of my closet-nesting abilities.

I know this one, every second of it.

One year ago, 6th grade in middle school, around christmas. Time to change classes. Time to go to french and get out of Math class.

Just when Joe gets out of his desk, the next class scheduled starts rushing in the room, but Joe is not packed up, and he hurries to cram all his math stuff inside his bookbag. Our Real American Hero(me) sees that some hot chick from that class looks at him for a second. He then shows a greeting with the hand, but whoops, Our Real American Hero accidentally drops his book. But when Joe, Our American Hero bends down, his wallet(that holds $40 in it, dont ask. He was going to buy something) falls out of his pocket, and flies to the floor. Not noticing his wallet is gone, Joe our Hero quickily moves on the french class.

Joe sits down in his next class, and notices his pockets are empty. Our Hero searches around the classroom he's in right now, but doesnt find it, because its not in there. Joe figures that he must retrace his steps, from the last time he saw his wallet. Joe asks his french teacher to get his $40 back, and Joe goes to the classroom he was in before.

Now its time for the drama.

Joe Our American Hero opens the door, asks the whole class if anyone had his wallet, and the kid who had it gave it back to me. Unfortunately, that kid thought he found buried treasure, and he told the whole class how much was in the wallet, before Joe was even there to ask the class. Then one kid says to Joe in front of the class, "You Fag! You brought $40 @$IN dollars to school?". The whole class starts laughing. Even that hot chick laughs. Now its time for me to annoy the heck out of y'all and use a smiley perfect for this: :(

Well, how Joe responded to that %)^)*%#@^)*)* Kid, is -CENSORED BY PTT- well, Joe got the class to stop laughing, but yeah, Joe will remember that. ;)

Last edited: Tuesday, December 07, 2004 at 1:00:17 PM

Not to be the negative one here, but I never heard anything about that happening in sixth grade, and considering that last time you shoved me you cried when we went to the disciplinarian for what I did... I seriously doubt what you are saying Mister Joe. (What's with the name by the way?)
P.S. PIP tipped me off as to who you were, THANKS MADELEINE!!

Last edited: Tuesday, December 07, 2004 at 4:50:21 PM

One time while I was walking from school to my house
I couldnt hold it and there were no bathrooms, so I pissed my pants dude.
I had to pretned like nothing happened. %)

Awww, how cute.

How about this many eons ago when I was in high school there was about 6 girls that used to wait by my moms house for me to pass by.
They knew I always took the same route.
Mon through Friday they would be there waiting to say hello and ask me questions.
I had gotten used to them.
I would make sure my pants were perfectly ironed and my hair was in slick shape.
Although I acted cool deep down inside I was always a shy guy in school, So shy that some girls used to call me conceited or stuck up.
One day while I was walking back to school after a hudge hot dog I had for lunch I ran into the same chicks who were standing at there post as usual.
When one girl shouted out and pointed "ill you have a big blob of mustard on your shirt!"
All the other girls giggled and laughed.
I acted cool like I knew it was there deep down I felt like a slob if I had lighter skin I probably would have past for a drunk Irish man on a cold day, Thats how red my face looked.
Anyways I thought I would share that story with you folks.
XD

Always fun to pull up the forums and see this kind of stuff. Well, I got a few of these moments, but I'll tell the one that requires the least "acting out" of the parts! :P

Pre-wedding (my first one) party amongst friends with my wife-to-be present. As usual, my buddy, "madman," is mixing and serving the drinks. I'm still pretty wound up about the whole "tying knot" thing so I don't exactly hold back on the Long Islands. A couple hours later I am sitting on the floor with my back to the couch and a stupid grin on my face. I look right and see my fiancee's delicious-looking thighs sitting next to my head. Might as well give one a fully affectionate bite where it counts. XD

Oops! Not my wife....hooooo man, did that liven up the party. Freaked the heck out of our young, virgin friend. Divorce has been the only thing that helped me live that scene down.

There are other scenes. I've just about decided that getting drunk with women present is simply a bad idea.

- Bomb…James Bomb

People that`s just your luck I on the other hand have good luck lol