I know most of you may have seen this e-mail before but I still think it's one of the funniest I've ever read. Maybe it's because I now have kids, or maybe not.

###

I am better than your kids.

If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

I win. When I go into work next, I'm going to surprise all my co-workers and put up pictures of myself instead of their ugly kids and their inane drawings.

###

Last edited: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 at 2:14:10 PM

LOL ^ That cracks me up! Rolf ive seen it b4 tho but its sooo funny! Are you the one who made that?

That first pic looks like a dog pinching off a tootsie roll. The pic of the green monster looks like Rothlisberger right before Odell Thurman is about to knock his block off. XD

Heh, no Jordan I didn't create it.

The pain's coming KKB. XD

So you call your kids @$$hole? Hilarious.

Actually Rabban, I call them much worse things. It's not my fault. You see when my ancestors came to this country it wasn't by choice. They were enslaved and brought to America by boat. As you stated in another thread all the weaker members of my ancestry were wiped out except for my grandparents. I'm the last male weakling of my lineage. Well, that's not entirely true. I've recently fathered two new arsewhole.

Maybe me and a few of my ancestors can drive by your home on our way to Pittsburgh next week and you can enlighten us some more on your theory.

Wait, I forgot to add this XD.

Last edited: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 at 4:37:03 PM

LMAO

"Ding Ding! Here comes the &^%$ mobile!"

"Eggs aren't supposed to have ears, ^%$#*"

ROTFLMAO

Even sober this is some funny $hit....
Keep them coming Rogue Bro..... XD

Here's the original page...

Lmao that's funny!

BTW The first one litterally looks like poo with a head and legs!

Last edited: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 at 2:18:32 PM

^It gets funnier the more you read it Racer. It's just so absurd. Whoever wrote it has my kind of humor.

Rogue...

There's just really no talking to you, is there? You've made up your mind on somethings and that's that. Still, I think there's some things you need to ponder.

1) You berate others for not being able to read what someone posts, then you do the very thing to me. Yes, I suggested that those Africans who survived the Atlantic crossing as slaves were stronger than those who didn't (I also said the same thing concerning Europeans, but that didn't seem to bother you). Doesn't mean I think it was a good idea. I was trying to show how Jet Jaguar (an evolutionist) could support some of his views concerning race. I suppose I could also reference Mexicans who voluntarily cross our southern border. The stronger and smarter survive. Perhaps I could reference the Asians who built America's railroads. The stronger and smarter survived. Sure, I'm generalizing and folks get lucky. Again, in either case, I don't think its good or right, just an observation.

2) You've put me down based on my state and my supposed dwelling (a trailer). So you're somehow better than someone because you have a good business and a nice house? What? Of course, you wouldn't say that to a person of color, but it does seem to reveal how you really feel about the poor, no matter what their race.

3) You don't seem to have a lot of character. Awhile back, you implied that I was lying about a black girlfriend I once had. When I supplied the evidence, you ignored it. No apology, nothing. So I think you're more interested in your crusade than the truth. Perhaps you're suffering from white guilt, who knows. BTW, the black man doesn't need your help. He's perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

4) You don't seem to be interested in engaging in a discussion concerning race and differing views. Instead you want to mock people and infer violence. How does that promote your cause? How does that change anyone's ideas? And lately, you've taken on the personna of a black person. What's up with that? I can't tell if you're trying to be clever or mocking the very people you hope to save. Maybe you think you're a man of color trapped in the man's body? I'm starting to think there are some mental issues here.

5) Then there's this thread. See, if you were some single guy, then I could understand you finding the humor in the comments you posted earlier. But, you're a family man (I guess), so I would think you would understand the love and caring that each child puts into their drawings and how much they enjoy giving them to the ones they love. Anything that my boy draws is a treasure to me and the thought of anyone referring to him as an "asshole", "dipshit" or "Hitler" is just repulsive.

But hey, you're justified. You're right. You know the score. You da man.

<there's no appropriate icon for me to insert>

Last edited: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 at 7:23:46 PM

8o I agree with rabban... Kids work hard to make those pictures... And another thing
notice their age. Hmmm..i wonder y they cant draw as good as u....o ya!! Cause they r 10 and under!
but then u have to go and say u would throw them out of the house because they tried thier hardest to make a very special present for u
I really dont see how that is so amusing....insulting 8 year olds and all..
just think about wut u r saying...

@Rabban, I think your words might not quite be expressing what you are trying to express. Your first paragraph sort of says it, but then digs a deeper hole. This is the danger of the reductio ad absurdum tactic, your reader may get lost in the example you use and never understand that you are trying to make the counter point.

So to sum up your argument, do you Rabban believe:
1. That evolution makes one race superior to another. (As your absurd argument posts seem to suggest.)
-or-
2. God made all men in His image and therefore all men are created with equal value. (As the rest of your faith based posts seem to suggest.)

A problem of course arises when a thread will get locked or deleted before you get the chance to clarify your point. Thus this showdown happens in this thread... :o

Also: the answer to question #5 is in Rogue's post above yours. It's the absurdity of it, that you wouldn't say such a thing to a child is where the humor arises. (Of course, it is not funny to *actually* say these things to a child, because they won't know it was a joke and likely be scarred for life.)

@Rogue: I'm not sure about the language in the art reviews. I don't want to see that become the norm around here. Would T approve of that being the example for the kiddies?

So you got the e-mail I sent out about your absurd slavery theory? Well here's a summation of the way it was phrased. I simply said that Rabban theorized that it was actually good that weaker slaves died off. He thinks this strengthened the race a bit in general. He is justifying slavery.

Here were my other comments. Rabban told me he lives in a trailer, you did a while back, and he lives in WV. That said, should I whack Rabban because he's holding back whitey or should I petitiion VA to nuke the whole state since they're behind? Rabban and his state are just panhandling off of whitey so what good are they?

Are you just playing dumb? If you don't get the idea of what I'm saying I probably shouldn't go on. I will quickly explain for you, I was mocking an absurdity with an absurdity. Clear?

I most definitely would talk about my business related issues with a black guy. Why would I ever assume that they could not relate? Are you supposing that if I said this to a black person they'd be offended because they know they won't succeed? A bum is a bum and hard worker is a hard worker regardless of race. I think your perception of the black community is based on you catching a few minutes of "Yo MTV Raps" with your kids.

You now go on to say that the stronger and smarter survive. Your theory completely ignores sociology. I need not go further, that's pretty cut and dry.

My comments about your black girlfriend were based on other comments you've made. You know it and I know it. I've eaten spinach before but I don't like it. If I'm starving I have to eat right? This is what I feel you did based on other comments you've made about race. Have you fogotten the ridiculous thread you posted months ago that chucked scorn your way by what you may consider the more level headed folks here?

How have I taken on the persona of a black person? Because I think Mr. T or Dave Chapelle are funny? I also like George Carlin and Bob Schimmel. Should I use wav files from them to appease you? I'm not a martyr Rabban, I'm not saving minorities. Although, I do live what I preach. I've lost many people that I considered friends over their views on race. Western PA is filled with bigots and they all make me sick. If you're interested I have e-mailed comments to my black friends from both you and Jet Jaguar. I can tell you what each e-mail header stated, they read, "Dude what do you think about this?"

The black man doesn't need my help? I'll give you the opportunity to revise that statement which ignores race relations completely in our country before I respond. I'll give you some help, racism is rampant, everyone needs our help.

How am I threatening violence? Do you mean my, "I'll come to WV" comment? Please say that isn't so. If that is the case I'm at a loss for words. You weakly tried to turn the tables on me when you knew full well that I meant you'd never make those comments in front of an African American. Didn't you post before that you buckled under similar circumstances?

No Rabban, I don't think I'm a black guy in a white man's body. I do however see color. I see color full well and know what torment a simple thing like pigmentation puts people through.

So I'm mental just because I think you and Jet Jaguar have incorrigible views on life? The previous comment wasn't meant to invoke a flame war, it's just what I feel. I apologize for my opinion. I think the both of you know a lot about nothing. Can I be any more succinct? I know a lot of people who are extremely learned and do nothing. I also know a lot of people that could recite the Bible verbatim and do nothing. I put both of you in that category. If you really believed what you preach about race you'd go public. I think you both realize the idiocy of your positions and would never do so. Again, sorry for my opinion. I'm not trying to flame.

Your comments about this thread don't merit a response. I think the humor is obvious and 56 summed it up before I could. I do however apologize if the words shit and asshole offended anyone. Feel free to delete. I think I've posted before in other threads that if I cross the line omit what I've said.

Rabban I don't berate others, just you and Jet. It pretty much stops there.

You'll have to excuse me, I must go, I have to go put my two little a-holes that can't draw to bed, pimp my ho and put on my black face. Good grief.

I agree 56. In retrospect the language I could have deleted. Would it have been as funny though? Heh.

Take care Rabban. Me and the my homies from da hood will pass through WV soon. It will be a short trip since it's tornado season, the trailers, and I've given VA the go ahead to nuke WV.

Buh bye.

Last edited: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 at 11:33:58 PM

I got an icon you can all insert.
"5) Then there's this thread. See, if you were some single guy, then I could understand you finding the humor in the comments you posted earlier. But, you're a family man (I guess), so I would think you would understand the love and caring that each child puts into their drawings and how much they enjoy giving them to the ones they love. Anything that my boy draws is a treasure to me and the thought of anyone referring to him as an "asshole", "dipshit" or "Hitler" is just repulsive."
*
Rabban. Dude. I think you mean to post that on the Martha Stewart Forum. We are joined here by common enjoyment that joins us here together because we enjoy shooting tanks. Most of us are probably kids, not so much parents who have 'em.
56, get a thesaurus. I know where you code :).

Last edited: Thursday, October 20, 2005 at 1:01:13 AM

Top post is funny as hell! About my level of humor. XD

The rest is over me head! :S

Also making it funny....nay....hilarious...is the modern need to stroke the children's egos; everyone in trophies, everyone in the winner's circle.

^ are you mocking my large collection of participation ribbons? :'( :'( :'(

No. I have those. It's the gold stars im coming for.

@Rogue LOL

Funny as mate. Cheers made my day.

XD

Okay Tally, I'll share if you will give me your chocolate milk at lunch.

@ 56

I think he's talking about your "Lucky Charms".....

@ 56K - I believe that God created all men equal. In the thread Rogue is referencing, Jet does not. However, I was trying to show how Jet could come to his conclusions based on evolutionary thought and used the "slave's who survived the trip to America made the remaining group stronger" example. Rogue took that to mean I thought it was a good thing, which isn't the case. He thinks I was justifying slavery, which I wasn't. I was trying to show that someone like Jet who has an evolutionary world view could easily come to the conclusion that some races are superior to others. I also mentioned that in that world view, all men are not created nor endowed with anything. Again in that system, the strong give what they wish to the weak.

OK, I've never said I actually live in a trailer. I don't even remember saying it as a joke. For the record, I live in a house, so now I'm a better person already. :)

You know, here's the thing. I was trying to be funny. It didn't go over. I tried to explain and apologize. For the most part, people accepted my apology. You have not, I guess, because you know that's how I really feel about the issue. I don't know why you can't forgive me. I like "Sally". She is a good person. She is still a friend of mine, even though I haven't seen her in awhile. She was actually at my wedding, which was a little weird, but I'm glad she's still connected to me in some way. And to be honest, we didn't have a full blown relationship. Not because she was black, but because she was heavy and I didn't want my friends to tease me. Chalk that up to the immaturity of a teenager.

Actually, I am interested. How have they responded? But then the trick is, how were the messages presented? Sure, you probably sent them "as is", but it still doesn't paint the whole picture. Besides, there are things I would say to a black friend that I wouldn't say to a black stranger. You have to know where people are coming from and I don't think that's something you and I are enjoying at the moment.

You've provided my answer yourself with "A bum is a bum and hard worker is a hard worker regardless of race."

Like I said before, it would depend on my relationship to the person I was speaking with. As far as "buckling", you (again) misunderstood the situation. I was in a store. Two strangers were talking. They made a racial comment and chuckled to each other. I thought it was ridiculous and I didn't join in, but I didn't say anything to them either. I posted here asking what others would have done. Some said they would have done the same thing, others might have done something differently. I suppose you would have been looking for a soap box. ;)

No, because you seem bi-polar or schizophrenic. Sometimes you're easy to talk to and sometimes there's no getting through. Sometimes you're a successful real estate agent and sometimes you're a dude sitting in his underware in the basement playing computer games. I wasn't trying to be insulting, but trying to understand what was going on.

I'm not sure what you're wanting me to do with "go public". There's not a lot of racism here in our little burg, at least that I'm seeing. Of course, you're right, only about 5% of our county's population is black. I tend to treat everyone the same. I have commented to my wife and friends from time to time that I miss having some black friends since they do tend to add some "color" to relationships, meaning they have a different perspective on a lot of things and they have an interesting subculture (that extends far beyond MTV).

<chuckles> Sure.

Last edited: Thursday, October 20, 2005 at 6:09:36 AM

In my book, Rabban's done a fine job of explaining himself and tries hard to have the right perspective on things. I'm not understanding the aggressiveness of the attacks.

Let the first amongst us who doesn't hold any prejudices cast the next stone...

Let's get one thing straight. I'm ALWAYS a guy down in my basement sitting in my underwear and playing a cartoon tank game.

Yes, there is no getting through to me on this issue. You'll just have to accept that I can't comprehend varying views on the subject when there should be only one view.

Regardless of everything said here. I don't dislike you. Admittedly I get nasty when this subject arises, I'm fallable.

Y'all can argue all you want to....I still think that the drawings Rogue posted at the beginning of this thread are absolutely the best I have seen from any Democratic senators in quite a while.

^(GROAN)

Props, Rogue...classy repsonse.

Well, swell. We're buddies then.

Ah yes, Maddox. His website is quite entertaining. I don't have it book marked, but it is called "The Best Page in the Universe." I remember I saw this about 2 years ago...still hilarious. I remember when I first read it I nearly died laughing due to the "firetruck." :P

My favorite is the car.

Vroooooooooooooooooooom. F!

I've received this via e-mail about a dozen times. I've never been to the site. Going to the site would have saved me ten minutes. I had to convert all those pics to jpegs from a Mircosoft Word doc. It was composed with frames and text.

Here's what kills me. My mother, 65 years old, sent this to me about a year ago. If I remember her favorite was, "...if the assignment was to put as much random crap on paper as possible."

I agree with that Ho. I know I've posted the following article before but I think it merits a second post.

Last edited: Thursday, October 20, 2005 at 7:30:01 AM

^ Lack of positive reinforcement is why I gave up working. Now I just sit in my office and play Chuzzle. So much more gratifying.

@Tally: So do you like the direction for the new end game screen?

^Sweet! Are the cute fluffy bunnies still in TT2?

Did anyone notice the cultural misunderstanding Rogue and I had when he wrote "Maybe me and a few of my ancestors can drive by your home on our way to Pittsburgh next week and you can enlighten us some more on your theory."

See, in my culture, that translates into, "Me and my boys are coming over to your house to straighten you out, frontier style.". Now being from a metropolitan area, he may not understand that, but that how it filters out around here in the country. Just another example of how different cultures hear and interpret things differently. ;)

Thats is amazing... F

@ laggy: yeah everyone wins; 45 to 7? Sure in your own little world... _{of TT}

@rough: lol funny but still they aren't as old as u dumb-crack they are 4-8!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cat please provide some basis for you belief. I'm in a great mood today and invite any and all attempts to make me giggle. Heck, this is something that even Rabban and I could share a good laugh together over.

Rabban in reference to your "cultural misunderstanding" post let me give you a for instance and maybe you'll understand me a bit more cleary.

When I was in college I shared a house with six other guys. Each year we'd have a blowout that lasted a week. This was during our Autumn Leaf festival which turned a town of 25,000 into a town of a quarter million people. One year ten of my closest friends came up to visit. They came right in the middle of a party. The house was rockin' and we were standing in a semi-circle just shooting the breeze for about a half hour. Then this girl walks right in the middle of us with a puzzled look on her face and says, "Do you guys even like each other?"

We were dumbfounded since we were all as close as friends could be.

So, I understand what you mean.

Last edited: Friday, October 21, 2005 at 8:13:14 AM

LOL. Thanks Cat. XD

Wow, you posted again. Well thanks twice.

Last edited: Friday, October 21, 2005 at 8:10:55 AM

^ honky!