This is a sad post... If you don't feel like reading this, then please leave. It is personal, and only for those who understand what it is to lose a family member....

My sister valiantly fought off the attack of Cancer for more than 25 years. She had 70 operations, and during that time she received a PHD in Social Work and became a Professor of Social Work at a University. She never let her ravaged body stop her, her mind never slowed, she never wasted time feeling sorry for herself...

When my sister died a few weeks ago at the age of 55, I was at her bedside. She was peaceful, she was quiet, she had her family around her. We took care of her 24/7 for a week until she quietly slipped away... In her own bed, in her own home, holding our hands.

The hospice workers visited every day for about an hour and trained us as to how to medicate our sister, then they left, and w were alone with her, listening to her breathe, witnessing brief glimpses, magical moments where she would be lucid for a fleeting second, make eye contact, smile and call me by my childhood name.... Then her face would gloss over again and she would drift back off to sleep.... Over the days, the moments of lucidity would appear farther and farther apart. When my sister would speak, she would talk more to herself than to us, she would say things like "okay, okay, okay.... I've gotta make it stop",,,, we were all sure that she was saying that she was ready to pass away.

At one point, I had to make the decision to stop feeding her. Since her kidneys and her liver had stopped functioning, the liquid nutrients in her IV were causing her body to bloat horribly and her lungs to fill up with fluid. This would not be a good way to die, so we simply stopped giving her the liquid nutrients with the knowledge that we were expediting her demise.

As the bloating receded and her lungs cleared a bit of fluid, she had a few brief moments of lucidity.... We felt like she was there, if even for a moment... I will cherish those fleeting moments forever.

Then on the last morning, we could tell her breathing was different. It wasn't like she was in pain, it was more like her chest muscles were just not strong enough to heave her lungs. She seemed to quietly gasp for air a few times, no struggling, no pain, no drama...... Then after one last soft gasp, she just didn't take another breath.... In a matter of seconds, her hands went limp and her jaw relaxed. We stood over my sister and cried, we cried harder than I have ever cried in my life.... The only time that I cried with more intensity was an hour later after I called my ailing father and had him come to the house to say goodbye to his dead daughter..... He walked in the house with such burden, such overwhelming grief... He walked over to her bed and leaned over to kiss her forehead.... As he stood up, he started crying in a way that I had never seen my dad cry. With utter despair and defeat.

My mom had died a few years ago and sis stepped up to the plate to be my dads best buddy. My sister took dad out all over the place, she wanted to make sure that he wasn't just sitting in his old folks home waiting to die. So in a relatively short amount of time, he lost his wife and his daughter, I lost my mom and my sister.....

Life can be very very cruel.

I am not sure why I am posting this, I'm sure it is a downer....
But I have always been a person in the community who spoke from the heart, and right now there is nothing much more than this in my heart.

God Bless my poor sister, she is so missed.

Last edited: Thursday, January 19, 2006 at 11:50:10 AM

WOW :[

TG, sorry you had to go through this. My condolences.

-Rx

TheGhost... My feelings are all with you, and I only wish you and your closest ones all the strength to bear in the situation being. I recently lost a close relative, who suffered from the same symptoms, and it's a pain. Really unfair. I'm glad to hear that your sister was so strong and forward thinking, all the way. Make her a wonderful place in your mind, and let her never die.

I'd like to think that, in mind and spirit, no one ever dies! In fact, the communication never cease to exist. Although it takes place in other forms, it might even be in ways that weren't present in physical life.

What I want to say is, that I hope for all the best to you, and that you will find peace and - as time goes by - happiness to carry on in your own life.

Last edited: Thursday, January 19, 2006 at 2:48:36 AM

TG, This hits home strongly for me. The exact occurances you described, I went through with my grandmother Novermeber 2004.

This 92 year old woman was a truely wonderful person. She lived 30 years beyond her husband, who died of a heart attack in the 1970's.

She (Angela Maria) was the family Matriarch, and so a good portion of the identity of our family has parished along with her.

Without all the details (as they are exactly as you have described), I can say, my eyes still tear as I think of that wonderful woman.

I truely miss her a great deal..
Some comments say it best, so I'll share those with you here.

Here's a poem that I found enlightening.

I'm sorry for your loss, I hope over time the pain fades and your sisters memories become more vivid.

Napalm

Last edited: Thursday, January 19, 2006 at 6:36:59 AM

Thanks for the replies.

It is too bad that we have to experience the loss of the people we love. What a horrible thing to have to deal with. I guess that we have to accept that it is part of our experience, part of our growth.

My mom had died unexpectedly and that had it's own set of feelings of loss. With my sister, at least I had the time to say goodbye... To make a connection with her. Then I had the honor of witnessing her pass away peacefully. It was really beautiful, I hope that I am lucky to die in the same way when it is my turn.

The person I feel the most sadness for is my dad. Being a dad myself, I can only imagine how much pain there must be to watch your oldest child die before you.

Whew.... This sure is a fun thread eh?

Sympathy from a tank community of cartoon Tank players... Or another science project?

Can you talk about when you were a Valid Victorian and your talk was flowing at graduation, then you barfed all over the mike and if was flowing all over your robe? Now that was in a game community context... Perfect for a PTT board of strangers.

Prey, I understand your skepticism....
Not much I can do to change what has been. Please start a new thread regarding that topic though, this thread is not the place for your off-topic input.

I had to deal with that nasty Cancer monster 4 times with my Grandmother.
When it returned the fourth time she decided she didn't want to go through Chemo again.
The pain she said,"Was to much to bare !"
So I had to watch her go through hell her last 9 months of her life !
She was closr to me then my own mother (keep in mind I moved out at 12 or 13 I think it was <-- was a bad boy - Leave it at that please ) !

Any ways to make a long story short,
my grandmother helped me through a lot of rough times in my life !
She defined the true meaning of a Grandmother who loved people unconditionally.

Any ways a person in my life who had vanished with out a note or anything,
was trying to come back into my life after 17 years.
Well I was not sure what to do at first.
In fact, I didn't even want to return the phone call from the P.I. Who track me down for this person at first.
So you can guess who I called to talk too about this (grandma).
After about 3 hours on the phone with her she talked me into returning that phone call.
Needless to say, I am so thank full she did.
I know now there is no way I could of went the rest of my life with out this person in my life, thanks to my Grandma.

Any ways about a month later she started to slide down hill real fast due to the Cancer.
Needless to say a week later she passed away.
My Grandfather asked me to speak at her funeral.
Thats when I wrote this poem you see below.
It has even been published ! (type in Wells,A)

@ TG
My prayers are with you in this time of sorrow ! :(

Last edited: Thursday, January 19, 2006 at 9:31:27 AM

@Prey - I think you can trust this one.

TG.. I lost my Dad and my favorite Aunt to Cancer in just the last few years. I was present both times, they passed peacefully as well, but suffered greatly before passing. God I miss my Dad. :(
My hart goes out to you and your family.

Repent.

I remember my uncle had cancer, but was not treated till it was well on its way. We did not recognize it at first.
He died only two days after my school had a huge fund-raising event for children with cancer. This was what struck me the most. He was a great person.
My only regret is that he was not a Christian.
I will keep you, your sister, and your family in my prayers. I am truly sorry.

Last edited: Thursday, January 19, 2006 at 12:57:21 PM

Many of us are not Christians btw.

This isn't anything to be clever about. You know who you are.

Ghost -

I have experienced many deaths in my family. The thing that pains me most is the site of others moaning. My favorite uncle died once, my family and I were moaning for hours.. Then my aunt came... She was walking from the car like a normal day, it pained me so much to see her so shocked at the news... So upset.. Coming home from another day to hear unordinary news...

You never know what lies after this life.... It could truely be a better place... Think about where they would be happier from all the things they suffer....

^^ Yes I know, but I believe that people who freely choose to reject Christianity (were not taught a religion by their parents) cannot make it to heaven. He was an atheist. Sorry if I offended any of you.

TG, so sorry to hear of your loss. This was obviously a very painful experience, and you have my sincerest condolences.

I myself have never experienced loss such as what you describe. I have lost family members and very close friends of the family, but in most cases, their passing away was swift, so there was nothing drawn out about it. We never had long periods of time to contemplate what was inevitably coming. I think sometimes that this must be both a blessing and a curse. You always want to be able to say goodbye properly, but to see someone you care for so deeply suffering and slipping away before your eyes well, I don't know what to say. Except that, I'm glad you have some moments you can cherish.

Again, my condolences.

Srry for all that :[ :[

Monica, thinking like that makes people dead. You might want to read some history books (or turn on the news). The people we call terrorists these days? They say the same thing.

I think he was talking about me. He knows I'm going to hell.

TG Our thoughts and prayers are with you....

BC, Squid, and Flea...
Then start a new thread on this topic, you are being silly and insensitive for posting these thoughts here.

I am now one of the most exposed players in PTT. You know more about me than just about anyone here, you have numerous reports from well-known vets that I am NOT these other people, and the post about my sister dying is true... Feel free to check in with Napalm, he decided to verify the story and has proof.

Now, leave me alone.

Here's the deal. TG is no other player in TT.

TG is not Pai.
I know where TG works, his home addresess, his business address, his wifes name, his childrens names, his siblings names.

I even know what he looks like and which christmas stockings he hung on the fireplace for Christmas.

TG IS NOT

Pai
SK
Lauren

OR ANY OTHER PLAYER.

The so called story is not made up, it has been written about in public articles.

In fact, most of the things TG told us were true with the exception of the obvious.

You can and beleive what you will, but if your undecided and need some direction, he is none of the above.

BTW: HE was pretty shocked that he was found out. I emailed him at his work address. Hehe

Gotcha!

Last edited: Friday, January 20, 2006 at 6:26:47 AM

We've looked into this and its true, OK? Suffice it to say some of ya'll are just being mean. Go pout somewhere else.

Yes folks, it is true. We are on top of the situation.