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Lol, pull your pants up idiot
All funny
T raider
21. Shampoo and conditioner? What's wrong with Zest?
Last edited: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 at 3:40:36 AM
Lol
Nice moustache?
Received that e-mail many times. Always good for a few chuckles. How about this...
You know you are an Iowan if....
You're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because it's the coldest or hottest spot in the nation.
Your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.
Someone in a store offers you assistance,& they don't work there.
Your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead.
You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time.
You have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number.
"Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, and DAMN HOT!
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
Down South to you means Missouri.
A brat is something you eat.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors because your fire works melted.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
Continuing...
- you have a high-powered rifle on a rack in the back of your truck
- your method of snow removal is a blade on a john deere 4020
- you look forward to winter so you can sit on a frozen lake and watch the Vikings
- you get pissed when your wife takes the last dip of Copenhagen.
I lived in Minnesota for 6 years and upstate New York for 5.
Every word rings true.
Bolo's list sounds quite bitter though.
(In my experiences with these one traffic light town people, is that they actually believe that being educated is a bad thing and going to college makes you corrupt) BUSHit *cough*
Very scary
Funny stuff,
MAX
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Just got this email:
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it... It's not just to keep up with the neighbors.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt whipped... By our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for -- bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards arre making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you pay for one drink at the airport.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef' Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice!
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, drive pickups, trucks and tractors because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too - and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go East & West; Interstates 29, 35 & 55 go North & South. Pick one and use it accordingly.
16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazard. It spooks the fish.
19. That Highway Patrol Officer who just pulled you over for driving like an idiot.. His name is "Sir"... No matter how old he is.
20. Now please, enjoy your visit. Just don't overdo your stay, we have corn to plant.
Enjoy
B