Hi all,

It is time to have the "big talk" with my five year old. He had been hinting about his confusion as to how his little brother got into mamas belly (even more confusion as to how his little brother came out of mamas belly), and now he is asking directly. As such, it's time for "the talk" about intimacy, pregnancy, and delivery.

I am very comfortable with the discussion that he and I are going to have, I think it will be a fascinating experience for the both of us.

I thought it would be fun to ask for advice from this community and see what you had to offer.

I am interested in hearing both sides of the equation, from the parents who have had "the talk" with their kids, and from those of you who remember your parents having "the talk" with you.

I am not sure how this topic will play out in our forum, but can imagine it might be interesting. Let's keep in mind that we have a huge % of 13-17 year olds in the forums, keep it PG.

Katherine

Last edited: Wednesday, March 10, 2004 at 7:21:06 PM

My parents never had "the talk" with me. I was able to figure it out on my own. Either through movies, tv, or friends. Its not really necessary to talk to him but if you feel you should well heres my first idea:

#1 put a porno in and sit your child down to watch it.

Well ok thats more of a joke, but hey it might work.

#2 be straightforward

Well im not gonna do it but you might feel its ok.

#3 this is how I explain it to my friends. I sing what I know of "when a man loves a woman" then I drift off into another subject.

#4 ignore the subject. Stay away from your kid.

Understand though, I 14 and try to stay out of taking care of kids as much as I can.

Well I found out when I was about 4-5 from friends....i lived in a more "urban" neighborhood, and I saw A LOT of things that kids dont usually know/hear about till maybe 11-13 years of age.....but I think it is an advantage to learn about things like that at an early age b/c you grow more comfortable and mature about them. I say go ahead and talk to him about it, maybe even tell him that other kids will tease and nag about that subject as he gets older. I know he will be more mature about it when it comes up in school, friends, and sex-ed. Of course, you could always ignore it and wait till another time, you are the parent, so its about what you are comfortable with your child knowing at whatever age......GOODLUCK though....:)

I say go ahead, talk to him, I was 6 when I knew about it. Im 10 now.

Good Luck!,

Racer

Last edited: Wednesday, March 10, 2004 at 9:55:46 PM

Yeah, I mean, me too I'd like to know how babies are made?? My friend told me they are made in the hospitals but I don't know for sure.

Heh, not sure when I figured it out....all I know is I did, and I dont have much advise but I guess it is better to learn from you than an unknowing know-it-all friend. :)

I think they're made in a factory .

I almost found out through experience at age 13. I knew about that stuff before, I think around 7 or 8. Don't ask me how, just watching TV and listening to music I guess...

And that game is majorly twisted, Major. That was funny.

"Go ask your mother"

Heh, they dont need to know much at 5 to be satisfied

Tell him that when a mommy and daddy love eachother very much a baby will start to grow inside mommy. After 9 months the baby will be ready to be born and mommy and daddy iwth have a new Son/daughter.

Heck I think my little brother thought that mommies got pregnent by eating the mans "love juice" Must have been watching daddies porn

Do wat I do whenver I dont know the answer to sompin: lie.

Its no big deal that you can't answer the kids question TG, we can't all be rocket scientists. I'm sure you have other gud traits as a mother...right? Anyway, if its really bothering you, you cud post a forum asking someone who might know how these things (babies dat is) is made. Den, wud yu tell me?

WYBs

Ol pappy

@LOL. That's just wrongbut funny!

@TG: You think that's bad? Try running a daycare with 5 kids and one decides to ask you the question because, "Mommy won't tell her?" Yes, I worked at a daycare for 3 yearsmany people look at me strangely when I tell them that.

Oopsgotta go. I'll give my prescribed advice later. No, I'm not qualified to give it, but you'll get it anyway! Man, I've been missing a lot in the forums the past couple days!

- BombJames Bomb

Okay, I have time to offer my unqualified, detailed advice on this delicate subject.

First, Mommy and a man bounce in the bed a lot. This causes mommy to accidently swallow a pillow. The pillow turns into a baby and the doctors help pull him/her out.

That is why babies are so soft and squishy, and why mommy freaks out when you jump on the bed!

If you hear mommy bouncing in bed with someone, don't open the door. You might startle her and cause her to swallow another pillow!

- BombJames Bomb

Well, let's explain it in TT terms:

One day, a heavy tank sees a lovely light tank that catches his eye. He camps out while scrumming and eventually rolls over to her and they start chatting. They empty a few clips together and accasionally bang into one another. Eventually, if all goes well, they take turns off the bouncepads and launchpads. After a while, when they get tired, they start smoking and grab a couple of health power-ups.

They develop a nice relationship and have their ups and downs, even blast each other on ocassion, but over all they are a good team.

Eventually, they are blessed with the birth of a baby UFO or two and build their very own army of ThinkTanks.

The end...

Paisano

I will be back to read all the posts in this thread since that "talk" thing will most likely be coming my way soon. And man do I dread it.

Hatter I'm sure you will find here a complete source of in-depth information on this delicate subject.

Wow..

I don't remember when I "found out"... I think it was sort of gradual. I think I learned around 5-7. I know that a classmate taught me the word fook around age 10. They said, "It's.. It's.. F - U - C - K" and then when I said, "so you say 'fuck'"? The classmate went straight to a yard duty and sicked him on me.

I don't have much advice, I'm sure you can do fine TG and all the other parents out there. I think vanbuskirk's explanation is pretty good.

I know, *gasp* "His post is less than 100 words long" but I have A. Dinner and B. Homework.

Asterisk

My readings in world demographics claim that most babies come from China and India.

Slugthog assgard the statistical.

Baseball has always been used as an analogy, but we really take it up a notch here in Wisconsin. All you need to do is bring your kids to a Brewers baseball game and watch the 7th inning sausage race. When the bratwurst gets to 1st base it means.... And so on.

Not only will your kids appreciate the visual references, but you'll be teaching them to love sports!

TG,

Doesn't the story start out.. "When two women love each other very much..." ?

Sniper

@ Bak, funny you should mention that XD #1 is exactly what my father did to teach my brother and I when I was a kid. Actually, I think he sat us down in front of the porn channel to distract us while he closed a big drug deal. His way of killing 2 birds with one stone.

But don't feel sorry for me... I actually turned out pretty good, despite my shitty childhood :)

@TankGirl, I would say... Just be honest with him. Sugar coat it... But be honest. He's going to find out one way or the other. Might as well be from you.

Sniper,

Yup, that is the tough part of the situation. I have no problem talking to my son about sex, but I know he will extrapolate a confused perspective regarding "Two Women who love each other".

How about this for hypocritical, I absolutely-positively do NOT want my son to think it is OK to have "relations" with men (when he is older, of course). LOL. That is the tricky part... Why is it OK for Caryn and I but not OK for my son (when he is older) and another male to be "together"?

<--Me being a first-class hypocrite.

How do you tell a five year old that the vision of two men tea-bagging each other brings up my bile?

Oh, well, thank god my son is five going on 35, and thank god he is open minded, and thank god he is a loving and caring little dude.

Thanks for all the replies, funny and heartfelt.

:)

Katherine

Well you could tel him that <--3<--3 (if you get what im trying to say there) causes more diseases that what you do.....that might work....

I found out from my older sister, Madeleine, and then I told my younger sister, Vera, who told her younger brother, Thomas, who told HIS younger sister, Mary Rose, who told HER younger brother, GG (George, we just call him dat), who told his younger sister, Alice. I think that's all my ciblings...... PHEW!

First class, tg?

Meh, you're flying the plane.

Well, there's the stork option: http://ww2.netnitco.net/users/legend01/stork.htm

The 'Birds and bees' option

Or, I think, my favorite of the lot, JB's bed bouncing and pillow swallowing option.

Heck, I'm still confusled by it all - all these different explanations, how can anyone make any sense of life on this planet and where it springs from. Almost makes me wish my little spacecraft crash landed on somewhere else!

I don't know that I would have readily believed it at 5, if I was told how they actually get out of 'the tummy' without some kind of 'magic' being involved. Just wouldn't have seemed logically feasible.. Heh, still doesnt.

-Z-

The stork? I thought that's where pickles came from??

Maybe he delivers both?..... I hope he doesn't get my order mixed up....

Those are wicked good pickles.

I hate pickles. But those pickles are wicked good pickles.

OK, I think I've got the thread question beat.

My 5yo son asked my wife, "Why is my penie hard in the morning and when I look at the girls in my classroom?"

As you might guess, this one got kicked over to me. %)

I said it was because in the morning he's really full and had to go pee. I pointed out that it went away after he went to the bathroom. He agreed and I let that answer cover the classroom time as well. ;)

Smooth Move, I dunno what I wolda said, other than da plain old truth. %)