I relate this story to you as a kind of a warning: if you play TT a lot and drive every day, you should read this:

As some of you know I drive a VW Golf TDI, that’s turbo diesel. Low horsepower but really high torque. Consequently, it doesn’t accelerate like my old Honda Civic but it’s great at low rpm and can climb hills like a tractor. And since I live in Pittsburgh, which is like driving in Hypothalamus Hills, it’s a great little car. In all truth, it drives an awful lot like a light tank: it’s small, kinda fast, smokes like crazy when its cold, handles pretty well and can climb a nearly vertical hill. Okay, on to my story:

I was heading to the Strip District from my home in Squirrel Hill. As I was going through the Polish Hill neighborhood there was this little SUV type vehicle in front of me. Rav 4, Sidekick, something like that. It’s football season so it had one of those Steelers flags sticking up from the passenger window. Then I noticed it had a vanity plate. Well, I took one look at that plate and I knew exactly what to do. My car could go faster so I just pulled up along its right side and cut over hard, bashing into his side as I reached out and grabbed that flag. You should have heard this guy yell! So I high-tailed it out of there and went to do my shopping in the Strip. An hour later I am trying to find a parking space (not so easy on a Saturday morning in the Strip) and I look over and there is a nice empty space. But hey, right in front of it is this same little SUV! Okay, he’s not actually IN the space, he’s just sitting IN FRONT of the space, so no one else can get in. As I am getting really P. O.ed he just starts bashing me in my bumper for no reason. What the hell I think, so I put her in reverse, back up, then put ‘er in 1st gear and floor it. I hit him so hard he went flying over a retaining wall. I don’t know what happened to the driver but I did see his engine block flying through the air with a trail of smoke behind it.

A couple of weeks later I’m in court and the judge says to me:

“Dr. Pugwash, explain to me why on earth you destroyed this man’s car and nearly killed him. Explain to me why I shouldn’t lock you up for good!”

My lawyer leans over to me and whispers “throw yourself on the mercy of the court and maybe you can get out in two years for good behavior.”

I just shrugged my shoulders and said: “Your honor, first of all, this man BMed me in my bumper for no reason; second, he was camping in a parking space; and then he flamed with with:

“IT TICKLES. POOR BABIES”
“IT TICKLES. POOR BABIES”
“IT TICKLES. POOR BABIES”
“IT TICKLES. POOR BABIES”
“IT TICKLES. POOR BABIES”

My lawyer just shook his head in wonderment when I went on to say: “And finally, your honor, His license plate says “DEMO TANDY!”

My lawyer lets out this big sigh as the judge rises to go back in his chambers to decide my case. As we were waiting I was pretty sure I heard this faint chugga chugga coming from behind the door. Then I thought I heard a faint BOOM, BOOM, BOOM… CLANK, CLANK and then a distinct PFTSSSSSSSSSsssss.

Eventually the judge comes back in and settles into his big chair. He raises his gavel high and brings it down hard and says:

“CASE DISMISSED!”

I as I was picking my lawyer’s jaw back up from the floor (he thought I was going to the big house for sure) the judge continues:

“And furthermore: N1 and GG!”

I sez, “TY your honor, TY”

Last edited: Friday, October 14, 2005 at 9:27:34 PM

ROTFLMAO, that is a good story!
(its a shame thats u dont have pictures of it 2 post)(also, its a shame its not real)

Who was the judge? Rabban? Lolz...

LMAO

This for real? Hahaha I doubt it. LOL Don't lie. :)

Last edited: Friday, October 14, 2005 at 10:26:38 AM

Applause, applause- VN, Pugwash!!

BTW, I also drive a light car, and when I'm driving around the harbor near here on the rural 2 lane road, I start wishing it would slide around the curves like a light tank :)

That was great Pugwash ! :P

Real? True? I said it was a true story didn't I?

But seriously: if you love the lights in TT as I do, go out and test drive a Golf TDI (or a Jetta if you must); you will be amazed.

Lol nice story

Clapclapclap! Literally lol!

Lmao! I want your car! XD

Any1 got another story thats as funny as that 1?

Thats a W0000000000000000T!
GJ Pugwash
LOL

I believe we all love TT! :) Nice work Pugwash. Lol I m really laughing :)

Scythe

Pug, you funny.

Love my Jetta.

@ pug, I drive a VIBE GT, it has 180 horsepower in a light frame, the red line on the engine is 8000 RPM. The engine really performs at 6000 RPM. So when I drive you can imagine my gear shifting, I pass cars on the highway by shifting down into 4 gear,(it has 6 gears ) it feels like hitting an arrow pad with the scrum and flying through the goal full speed.

My driving is most dangerous right after playing some games. I have to watch out. Here in Canada we have speed limits and when you get speeding fines you get penalty points, you have a maximum of 15, right now I'm at 6.But at one point I was real close to losing my license.

Damn I think I like this game too much.

There are speed limits here too

^^^Delta and LGM: I can identify. LGM: try bald tires on a dirt road for that scrum slide in your car. Delta: I have a 4 year old so that kind of driving is long past. My chuggy little Golf is good enough for me.

But you guys have hit on the one grain of truth in this story: When I am out driving after TT I just want to bounce off other cars, fly into telephone poles to change direction and slide around doing 180s. It does affect one's driving, although I have not hit anything or anybody yet.

And I forgot to mention: My diesel Golf gets 50 mpg AND I can run it on biodeisel (derived from veggie oil) so I don't have to use fossil fuels. Biodiesel is 3.25 per gallon here in pittsuburgh. You can make your own from waste fryer grease (if you have the equip.) for about 3 bucks a gallon.

Damn Pug. That's a good yarn. Encore!

I herby dedicate this story to TANDY, the loudest, most annoying demo in TT. Congrats.