This past weekend my wife and I were on our way out to dinner going to one of our favorite Mexican places. Just prior to us leaving we had a breif discussion on who's car to take. We took mine because it was cleaner at that moment. When we left my son was quietly sitting in the backseat of the car looking quite tired (he's two). As I was going down the freeway I suddenly hear a sound like he is dumping water all over my car. I reach back (in the dark) to find out what is going on and have my arm covered with vomit. All over him, the carseat, my seat, and most of the back of my car by the time he was done. I then had to turn around and drive home and dump him in the bath.

The next morning I went out and had to use the steamcleaner throroughly sanitize the interior of my car. Gag

FYI we will always be taking my wifes car in the future.

LOL Here's something to think about V.

My daughter is starting to drive this year.
Will guess who has to lone her his car when she needs to use it? "Dad"
And why?
Because mom used her's for all them vomit trips.

I'll bet your wife agreed without a fight to use her car.
That's because your thinking about the next vomit trip.
She's thinking 15 years into the future. XD

@ The V, when you told me that the other night, it brought back several horrifying parenting memories. First an foremost the fact that my daughter has thrown up in the car 4 times in the past year. She just gets car sick and is too little to do anything about it.

The other memory I find more disturbing. In fact it haunts me.......

When my son (our first) was about 3 months old, he had a "messy diaper". Me wanting to show my wife that I was a take charge guy and that I was getting quite good at diapering,, grabbed the boy and headed for the changing table. Wanting to make sure he pooped before changing him, I stuck my finger in the elastic wasteband to pull it back and have a look. Unfortunately, I put my finger in a much too far. I pulled it out with a very bad case of "Poo finger". I kept changing him, with the "Poo finger" extended as to not get it on his clothes while I changed him. And then I sneezed.

Unfortunately I was raised to always cover your mouth and nose when sneezing and it has just become second nature to me over the years. I came to the horrifying reality that I just covered my face with the "poo finger" and now in fact had a "poopstashio". Screaming loudly and running to the bathroom, passing wife who is laughing uncontrolably on the floor, I catch my first glimpse of the horrible feces goatee that is now on me. I spent the next 3 minutes ejecting the contents of my stomach into the toilet while my wife praised me for "how good I was at diapering"

Yes.........the joys of parenting.

Now that's funnny.

^^ Man I busted out on that one!! ROFLMAO!!
OK I think I can top that.
About 7 years ago when my oldest girl was 2 we were driving home from Florida.
Needless to say she had plenty of Florida orange juice to drink that day.
I always could tell when she was going poop because her eyes would bulge out and her face would turn bright red. 8(

Well, what I thought would be a normal turd turned out to be a pint or two of organge poo-goo! Up her back, down her legs, all over the car seat. :S

After a whole box of baby wipes and a stop at a gas station everything was somewhat back to normal.

I thank God my kids are out of diapers...
yeehaw!!
-KKB

Although I'm sure all of us parents have a good brown trout story or two, I have nothing to compare to that one Smack. LOL
Congrats to you for finally completing the often-talked-about-but-never-before-seen........self performed Dirty Sanchez. I stand in awe.

Pffft. Poop and vomit are nothing. Try being the only man in the house with four females: Wife, 2 Daughters, and Aunt Flo.
Smack Daddy's story is pretty good, though. Inspired a new word- "gagiggle".

Heh... A poo'stache

I couldn't help thinking about one day when I was playing with my adorable little girl. She was probably about a year old, and I was laying on my back on the floor making faces at her as I lifted her up and down. She was giggling and I was having a great time.

Then I hear a little burbling sound... Then a hiccup... And then, the wet, viscous sound of puke. I tried to turn away, tried to duck, but wouldn't think of flinging the little one as a means of escape.

Of course, my mouth was open from laughing... And BULLSEYE!

Worst thing I ever tasted...

And LGW (Mrs. LGM) was nearly hysterical with laughter. It is one of my daughter's favorite stories even now.

I think Smacky just received a new nickname.

^ I was thinking the exact same thing. Its been oh so long since ive used that term....

Smooctachio? :o

Daddy! Daddy! Tell me the story about when I vomited into your mouth.

^vascetomy sounds very appealing after all those stories.

Only If You Have Kids! :P :P XD