I just learned a little while ago that a good friend of mine, Nate, was found dead this morning.

His mother isn't saying much about it, but we're assuming it was either a suicide or a drug overdose.

Its really a tragic loss since Nate was only 27, a talented artist and the father of a baby daughter. He was living in Oregon with his girlfriend, working as a tattoo artist and body modifier.

It especially sad for me since at one time Nate was really close to me and our group of friends, a little church clique if you will. We had some really great times together and our faith really brought us together in ways that I had only imagined previously. We all loved one another with a brotherly love and we all had a relationship that held even after we were apart and had gone our separate ways. So strong was that bond that when we did get together years later, we picked right up where we had left off. Sadly, I never imagined that the last time I saw Nate would be the last time.

So, he's gone on now. I have a lot of questions about what happened to him and why he made the decisions he made. He was looking for something, but I'm not sure what it was. I do hope to learn from his life and passing, and hopefully spare my son some of the hurts that came to Nate.

Such a waste. :(

Very Sad, I was VERY upset when my uncle passed away, he was diabetic (spelling?) :( :[

Heh Rabban, im sorry.
It looks like 2005 is being a bad year, as this is not the first thread about this subjects, but were all (at least most of us) sorry..

Rabban, I'm realy sorry to hear that you have lost someone close to you.

I'm not really a poetic person or anything like that, but recently at my Grandmothers funeral a poem was written. After I heard this poem, I just had to add it to the web memorial for my Grandmother. Here it is, I hope this brings in a few rays of sunshine.

The Dash

by Linda Ellis © 1999

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars...the house...the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile...
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy’s being read
With your life’s actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

So many funerals lately. :(
Sorry to hear of your friend's passing Rabban. My condolences.

I'm sorry, Rab. There really does seem to be a lot of sadness around PTT, doesn't there, KBC?

Im sorry to hear about your freind passing away... There are so m,any sad storys latly...
Eagle

Ugh :(
Sorry Rabban, losing a buddy can really put you down in the dumps.

Well, What can I say... I've Never lost anyone close to me
I don't know anything people go through in this area since it has never happened to me
My Condolences anyway,
-Free

Rabban I feel your pain. I lost me Grandma. Please, let all take a few minutes in quite to remember the soliders who fought for freedom and the love ones we have lost, Ahmen.

Fred

I cannot imagine your emotional pain at this moment Rabban, and I wish your friend a happy afterlife.

Rabban, I know how you feel. My friend didn't die, but I found out that he was moving away, and I would never see him again.
On another tragic and more recent occasion, I found out a few days ago that my girlfriend was "stabbing" herself in the arm, but the scars were so terrible. She acctually wanted to die. And that really broke my heart. :'( Art, you are so correct. 2005 is turning out to be a very sad year. :'(

Last edited: Friday, March 04, 2005 at 10:47:53 PM

My condolences

Sad....Both of my grandfathers died, one of my grandmothers, some of our fish died (oh big deal), Saddam's sons died (WOOT!), and I think that's about it....oh yes a bird that I found with a broken wing outside of my house was grousemly eaten by an owl the next day. It's hard to get blood off pavement.

Wait. Was there a gunshot on him? A stab puncture? If so forensics can easily tell if it was a suicide or not. If maybe it was a drug overdose, was there any in his system? Or could it be a heart attack or lukemia?

Ah raban I suck at these but here it goes:

Father we come befor you asking that Rabans friend Nate has a safe place now in your holy kingdom. May he be not forgoten but remeberd as a father, and a good person. Father we also ask to help Raban through this hard and emtional time, We ask that you give Raban streth to help him through for all he has done for us here in our Website. Father we ask that you help all of nates loved ones mom, girlfriend dad ect. Wea sk this in your holy name.
And the people of god said, Amen

Raban im sorry to here about that I cant imagine non compare to what your feeling but ill keep you in my thoughts

There is some good news...I guess.

Seems it was a drug overdose. Nate had a heroin problem, but he had been off it since his daughter was born about 18 months ago. I was talking to a mutual friend (who's also a doctor) and the speculation is that Nate's fatal heroin dosage was probably at his quitting level rather than at a beginner's level. Apparently when you go off heroin, your body recovers from usage and looses its tolerance. So if Nate was unaware of this and tried his usual dose (since he had been off it so long) it killed him.

They're cremating the body tomorrow and his ashes will remain in Oregon.

Overall I feel OK. I'm sad, disappointed and bummed. At least he didn't take his own life, though an OD is still tragic and senseless. I just wish he could have come around and found contentment.

Rabban, sorry for not seeing this thread earlier. I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I know you've had a few losses this year, so you have my sincerest sympathies. This is definitely turning out to be an odd year…

Y'know, I've been through something similar, losing a childhood friend, though with my friend it was a suicide (so we heard). I was pretty shocked when it happened. And it had been a while since I saw him before he took his life, which made it very sad.
What made matters worse is that he was in the military, working in intel, and his job was so secret, we never got to learn much in the way of details about what really happened. Some questions I have will never be answered.

Sigh. Anyway, I'm sorry about your loss, but glad to hear that you're doing OK with it.

Last edited: Sunday, March 06, 2005 at 8:11:02 PM